Are GREAT Marriages Even Possible?

Is it possible to have a GREAT marriage? I’ve had two 15-year marriages. When my marriages ended, I did some deep introspection into who I am to myself and in relationship to others. Since then, I have been helping couples with money and relationship issues, and my unequivocal answer is an emphatic YES you can HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE! I am not a professionally trained counselor, but my work with couples is full of joy. I have found that I can listen and make suggestions based upon truly hearing what a person says. I call myself a “nudge” because I am able to prod the individual into seeing something they have already revealed. Often they just don’t see it clearly until I repeat it back to them. It’s like being a mirror for a friend. A full description of what I do can be found at www.thecenterformarriage.com.

What I’ve noticed, however, is that even the smallest steps in working on a relationship are an anathema to most couples. Whether it is fear, too little time, resentment, the desire for a quick fix or any other reason, couples generally prefer to let things slide. They are quick to resist. In many cases they neglect their relationship altogether. It’s like they go to sleep. This breeds disaster. All marriages get stuck in difficult territory at times and without support things can deteriorate. I’ve seen too many angry divorces among couples who once loved each other. I believe this result can be avoided. At the very least, if divorce is inevitable, it can be far more mutually agreeable without all that anger.

So what would draw individuals and couples into doing some work on their relationships in a timely way, before neglect has taken its toll? What can be done to ensure we are awake and aware of who we are for ourselves and in relationship? Where do we get support for this process and how can we build on it? It is my hope that anyone who finds their way to this blog will join me in a conversation about how to HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE! Share your opinions, experiences, and questions, and together we will discover the answers within ourselves.